How does a trumpet player change a lightbulb? He stands with his hand in the air and the world revolves around him. How do you teach a clarinet to swing? Hang them from a tree. What's the difference between a clarinet and an onion? no one cries when you chop up a clarinet. how does a bassoonist increase the aerodynamics of their car? They take off the domino pizza's sign. How do you make a trombone sound lke a french horn? Stick your hand in the bell and miss half the notes. what do you get if you cross a french horn and a feild goal post? a field goal post that can't march. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer How does a drummer keep a beat? they don't. (they have machines that do that now) How is wetting yourself and playing an english horn solo alike? they both give you a warm feeling but no one really cares. Who make the best kissers? French horns but they sure hold you funny *note all jokes were submitted by a brass player. (mainly trumpet)