This girl walks into a bar. The bartender goes, "Yo April, what cha got between your legs, a wet cat?" The girl replies, "I got chapped punani, I need a free shot of southern comfort, care to help me out?" Just then, the bartender leaps over the bar and sticks in his meat and finally yells out, I got yer shot right here!" Then he says, I'm mighty thirsty now, I could use a drink." She says, I'll take care of that for you," so she grabs a bottle of Jack from across the bar, uncaps it and shoves it up the bartender's ass, then proceeds to light his ass on fire. He jumps into the ice chest and extinguishes the flame. "That," she says, "is called one Jack-ass on the rocks." (true story)