PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE IS CHANGING THE NATION'S EMBLEM TO A CONDOM BECAUSE IT MORE CLEARLY REFLECTS HIS ADMINISTRATION'S OFFICAL & POLITICAL STANCE. HERE ARE A FEW REASONS THAT HAVE CAUSED HIM TO DO THIS. THIS IS COMPLETLY BACKED BY INTELLIGENCE REPORTS THAT HIS ADMINSTRATION HAS RECEIVED AND REVIEWED. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It just doesn't get more accurate than that.